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the weekend

After a rough weekend spurred by terrible self image, I wanted to find pictures that were relevant and inspirational to me. These images are from a Vogue Italia shoot in 2011 called “Belle Vere” or “True Beauty.” I am sorry if the nudity is offensive to you, but I love this spread featuring four gorgeous curvacious women. So, this is what prompted the post…

Well. This weekend was hit and miss. Saturday we had a lazy, lovley, and loving day with games, movies, and a blog re-vamp. Sunday, well, Sunday I crashed. It is amazing how quickly a number on a scale or a glimpse in the mirror can destroy my mood. I did manage to get dressed and go see Batman, The Dark Knight Rises. It was a victory. I imagine that might be hard for everyone to grasp, but my instinct is to run back to bed and hide. Instead, I showered, pulled some clothes on, and decided to be a trooper. That is until the late afternoon when I exploded. My thoughts kept building. The pain in my head from a tension headache was killing my resolve. One bad thought then leads to another. What started out as a down day about my weight quickly snowballs into self-hatred and terror. So, I made a little plan for myself today since I am off and staying with David. It is simple. Today’s goals are to go for a walk, paint my nails, get dressed, write for the blog, and meet David for dinner. I almost didn’t share on the blog today, but after years of the “fake it ’till you make it” attitude, I am exhausted of that. So, I give you what I have. The not-so-hot weekend update. A year ago, I would have holed up in my house. Today, I am going to keep going. I am hoping saying it will make it happen.

 

 

Also, this is the perfect review of The Dark Knight Rises.

 

8 Comments

  1. Such beautiful photos!
    Thanks for sharing!
    xx

  2. Ooh, this photoshoot is so glamorous–I saw it on The Sartorialist some time ago. It’s good to see beautiful ladies with meat on their bones. I’m so happy for your plan for today! Sounds simply perfect. =)

  3. Shana

    Chelsea, Thank you so much for being so candid, so real on your blog. It’s awesome to be able read about you and what you go through. I myself struggle with anxiety and certain kinds of depression. I know what it’s like to avoid the outside world and just crawl into bed. Reading what you say, I relate so much. And it’s comforting to hear. You are such a beautiful and talented woman. Thanks for being you :)

    Lots of love, Shana

  4. Lissy

    Aw, Chicky! Hope today was better xo

  5. I love that you keep it real here on your blog. And these pics are gorgeous. xo

  6. Really like the photos and I totally get what you mean about things just snowballing and your mind just taking over and dropping you into a deep dark hole. Good for you for rising above it all – that takes a lot of willpower and strength. I’m going to take some inspiration from you today. Keep on truckin!

  7. Bun

    LOVE that you posted this- those photos are fabulous! And thank-you for being so honest and putting yourself out there in this post…I know it’s not easy…hope things are better for you…
    xoxo

  8. Thank you all for your support, love, and for getting into the photos! xo

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