Well, our first weekend as a married couple has come and gone. I will be honest, when David flew in from Chicago on Friday night I was under the covers sobbing. This week was tough. I was flooded with emotions after the wedding. All of the hoopla had ended, David flew back to Chicago Wednesday morning, my car immediately broke down…I ended up stranded in my house during massive thunderstorms for almost 48 hours. I don’t know. Maintaining a steady mood is a fine art- a precarious balance of chemicals in my body…a string of making good and healthy choices for myself all day. I try and take it one moment, one hour, one day at at time, but Friday was a wreck. David got home around midnight and we decided to have a good weekend.
We decided to shop, cook, see a movie, and wash the sheets. I asked him to listen to how I was feeling. He did and I told him I was feeling lonely since I suddenly found myself back in the house, not at work, the excitement ebbing. I felt terrible about my body and terrified that I would look bad in our wedding photos and video. Mostly though, I just felt sad. Saturday morning we woke up and had a great day. It was a choice. I didn’t give in to that internal pressure. We made sausage biscuits and tortilla soup. We laughed and took silly pictures at the grocery store. On Sunday we saw Friends with Kids, which was awesome, after David made me chocolate chip pancakes. We bought fresh flowers, played with the dogs, cuddled on the couch and caught up on tv. It was simple. It was great.